FUNNY PAGES | ‘Losing TikTok Is A Bigger Deal Than Losing Your Virginity’
Comedians skewer effort to ban popular social media app
Editor’s Note: Welcome to a new feature here at The Washington Current. “The Funny Pages” will be an occasional look at how late-night TV comedians look at politics and the issues of our day.
You might think that the overwhelming — and rare — bipartisan vote in the House might have signaled approval for some safe and uncontroversial legislation.
But perhaps no one has their fingers on the pulse of public opinion and pop culture more than TV’s late-night hosts, and these comedians absolutely pilloried the attempt by lawmakers to ban one of the planet’s most-popular social media apps.
On a final vote of 352-65, the House passed bipartisan legislation Wednesday that would force the Chinese parent company of TikTok to sell the wildly popular social media platform or face a ban in the United States.
Supporters of the legislation claim TikTok’s Chinese ownership and the its ability to access Americans’ personal data poses a national security risk.
That didn't stop the nation’s late-night comics from turning the vote into a series of punchlines on their programs Wednesday night.
Much of the monologue of ABC’s Jimmy Kimmel was taken up with one TikTok laugh after another.
“Just to give you an idea of the pull this app has, they did a poll and half the people who said they use TikTok said they do believe it poses a threat to national security, but they still use it and keep it on their phones,” he said. “I guess at this point, what the hell, right? Half the country supports a national security threat for president, might as well dance.
To sustained laughter from his studio audience, Kimmel added, “I don’t think we fully understand how crazy these kids are going to go if they kill TikTok. For teenagers today, losing TikTok is a bigger deal than losing your virginity.
“I’m not kidding, either. This is like taking away all of their imaginary friends at once,” Kimmel cracked. “And you know what kids did before TikTok? Drugs.”
NBC’s Jimmy Fallon created an entire elaborate sketch out of the issue, including the voice of the popular Alexa virtual assistant.
“Apparently Congress is scared that TikTok is spying on us. Then Alexa was like —” Fallon began, before being interrupted by the faux-Alexa voice
“Yeah, TikTok,” the disembodied Alexa interjected, to laughter from the studio audience. “That’s the one who’s spying on you. Ban it! Ban it!”
“Okay, thank you, thank you, Alexa,” Fallon said.
Fallon and Kimmel both couldn't resist poking fun at former House speaker Nancy Pelosi’s awkward floor speech defending the TikTok bill, with each playing a clip of Pelosi’s remarks.
“This is not an attempt to ban TikTok. It’s an attempt to make TikTok better. Tic-tac-toe: A win,” Pelosi said.
“China was like, ‘You know what? You can have it. We just got the ick,’” Fallon joked, to audience laughter. “I don’t even want it. And in an ironic twist of fate, that clip is now viral on TikTok.”
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