WASHINGTON WATCH: If A Same-sex Couple Is Married, Act Like It
Language takes subtle dig at Brittney Griner's lesbian marriage
Like most Americans, I'm celebrating the return of basketball star Brittney Griner, released late last week from nearly a year of Russian imprisonment following a prisoner exchange for a notorious Russian arms dealer.
And also, like most Americans — and particularly, Americans within the LGBTQ community — my heart was warmed by the appearance of Griner's wife, Cherelle Griner, at the White House event Thursday announcing the 32-year-old pro and Olympic star's imminent return after being sentenced after Russian customs agents discovered a tiny amount of hash oil in a vape pen, for which Brittney had a prescription.
So, there was Cherelle Griner's obvious love for her wife on display for the nation and the world, as she stood beside Secretary of State Antony Blinken and Vice President Kamala Harris as President Biden made the happy announcement.
(And the Biden White House deserves real kudos for ensuring that Mrs Griner was prominently featured — as nearly any other straight spouse would have been — in the same circumstances.)
But this is where the good news for LGBTQ folks takes a detour.
It's illustrated in how journalists have referred to Cherelle Griner, but it's not exclusive to this story, however.
Rather, it's endemic in how even journalists fail to grasp the true equality of “marriage equality.”
Let's be very clear: Brittney and Cherelle Griner are legally married. So there should be no difference between how their relationship is described and that of any heterosexual married couple.
But, unfortunately, there is.
This paragraph is from a recent Washington Post story about Brittney's release, by reporter Jennifer Hassan
What's the problem?
Cherelle is referred to as Brittney's “partner,” which is archaic terminology often used 30-plus years ago used to refer to members of a committed, long-term same-sex couple who probably would be married if only they could have been married.
Except that Brittney and Cherelle are married. And if we're going to have “marriage equality” — and we do — then same-sex married couples are entitled to equality of language, too.
Language matters.
Calling Cherelle Brittney's partner — intentionally or not — “others” their marriage, and sublimates it as well.
The correct term to use would be “spouse.”
That's the term any reporter — and any newspaper copy desk — would reflexively use if we were talking about a straight couple of Brittney and Charles Griner.
Indeed, here in the state of Maryland when folks — gay or straight — are married at the courthouse, we are declared not “husband and wife,” or “wife and wife,” but “legal spouses.”
I'm currently engaged to another woman in a same-sex relationship who happens to be the absolute love of my life.
And I certainly expect and demand the same respect and dignity for our relationship — both before and after we're married — as we would receive if we were a straight couple.
That includes how anyone would describe us, verbally or in print.
True marriage equality demands no less.
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